07 November 2012

15 dumbest things said at job interviews

1. Q: Why did you leave your last job?
 “I have a problem with authority.”
2. Q: What are your hobbies and interests?
 [He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.’”
3&4. Q: Do you have any questions?
 “Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have someplace I have to go.
A: If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?
5.  Q: Why should we hire you?
 “I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time.
6. Q: Why are you leaving your current job?
 “Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building.
7. Q: Why are you looking for a job?
Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job.”
8. Q: Why do you want to work for us?
 “Just for the benefits.
9. Q: What are your assets? (as in strengths)
 “Well, I do own a bike.
10. Q: What are your weaknesses?
I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.
11. Q: When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
 “Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that.
12. Q: Use three adjectives to describe yourself
 “I hate questions like this.
13. Q: Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
 “I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.
14. Q: Have you submitted your two weeks’ notice to your current employer?
 “What is two weeks’ notice? I’ve never quit a job before, I’ve always been fired.
15. Q: Random responses
May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.

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